Am I Lucky To Be Missing You?
I recently had a dear friend move far enough away to put the ocean between us. While I am truly happy for them, I cannot deny the sadness I feel, or how much I am missing their company. I am realizing however, in my own personal journey of coming to terms with them moving, how lucky I am to have someone to miss at all. How lucky any of us are, to miss people in our lives. Whether through a move, death or parting of ways. I know how odd that must sound, let me explain.
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While processing my thoughts and emotions about their departure it brought back a memory of when I was a young adolescent. My best friend was moving away. I remember pretending to be stoic, like it was no big deal. All the while my heart was breaking inside. I broke down in complete tears when their car drove off and in that moment, I wanted to take back trying to be strong, take back denying myself the grief I was feeling. Instead, I wanted nothing more than one last time to hug them. To tell them how I really felt. That I loved them. That I would miss them terribly.
I learned a hard, yet important lesson in life that day. You can’t take back time, or missed opportunities to say I love you, good-bye, or how much one means to you.
Since then, I have had dear friends and family who have heartbreakingly passed away, moved afar, or simply fallen out of touch. Remembering my adolescent self standing on that curb, I try my hardest to make sure to let everyone special in my life know how much they mean to me as often as I can.
Life is full of twists and turns, you never know what is going to happen. People and loved ones come and go. Some will endure, some won’t, and others will be taken away too soon. It is out of our control. What we can do is express our gratitude for the time spent with them and let them know every chance we get.
Missing someone never really goes away and that is actually a blessing. It means you shared something special with that person and nothing, not even time or death, can take that away. Honestly, I wouldn’t want it to, even if it causes me grief, because it also gave me lovely moments in life. I would much rather have had the experiences and memories that make me miss them, then not.
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If you are missing someone right now, as painful as it can be, it helps to remember that you are lucky. And to know you are living life and experiencing all it has to offer. The good with the bad. You have loved and maybe lost. And you are not alone in that, that is life, and we are all living it. Or, maybe that just works for me.
I don’t know how this most recent story will end. Whether our friendship and love will endure, or fade away with the passing of time and this silly little thing called life. I hope it stays strong. However, I do know, that whatever the outcome, I am grateful for them having been a part of my life at all. Just as I am grateful for all the people who have touched me in my life.
In answering my question, “Am I lucky to be missing you?” I believe I am. Yes, and thank you.
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